Hello lovely readers! You all are invited to a party. On the internet. For a book! 🙂
I try not to throw a bunch of promotional crap at you all in my blog posts (ewwww marketing), since I really hate writing advert kind of stuff and you and I both have better writing to attend to (brand name dropping is so BO-RING!), but one of my fellow writers has a pretty brilliant goal he’d like to reach and, well, it involves buying some stuff.
(Caveat to the above paragraph: If I’m the one who’s got some writing to sell, I’ll probably plug it to y’all like no other. Seriously. Y’all might need to create your very own special email filter just for me. But I’ll try not to be that bad. 😉 )
Anyhoo. Mommy Man (a.k.a. Jerry Mahoney, one of my favorite bloggers-con-authors) is releasing a book about how he “went from mild-mannered geek to gay superdad” – which in and of itself is awesome. I mean, HOORAH SNAGGING A PUBLISHER!
But Mommy Man’s got a scheme to hatch that’s about as big as a four-year-old’s temper tantrum, so he needs OUR help!
Mommy Man wants to try to break into the ranks of the top 1000 books sold on Amazon. And in order to do that, he needs people – lots and lots and lots of people – to buy his book.
The catch? It’s gotta be ALL AT ONCE.
Or, you know, as close to “all at once” as possible. So here’s the dealio: this Friday, October 4th, at as close to whatever 12:00PM EDT translates to in your time zone as you can get, go to Amazon.com and pre-order Mommy Man’s book. Here’s the link you’ll need:
Not sure you want to read the book? Go check out his blog (jerry-mahoney.com) and skim a few posts. You’ll pretty much either be fist-pumping and shouting “YES!” or falling out of your seat in stitches. And if you’re not, then I think you’ve probably broken either your funny or your feeling, and you should really get that looked at as soon as possible.
Anyhoo. This isn’t about making money off the preorders. It’s about helping one writer-dad’s dream happen. Because really, us writers, we don’t work for pay. We work for pride.
And when it comes to Mommy Man and his book, Pride is a really good thing.
Quill Aquiver 
The Fear of What Comes Next
18 AugRecently, there was a Times article entitled ‘Having It All Without Having Children.’ I haven’t read the entire piece, but my impression is that it generally discusses views on having children and why that is or is not a good idea for various couples and how attitudes are changing about the “selfishness” of child-free couples.
Now, since I haven’t actually read the entire article I can’t guarantee this, but I got the feeling that it probably didn’t cover a few of the reasons that women I’ve known have had for being hesitant to have children. Reasons that will cause most people to just shut their mouths and nod.
But I also thought of the women I’ve known who could have had those same reasons and went ahead and had children anyway. And honestly, I think those women are incredibly brave. To decide to take the risk and have another kid after a couple already has one child born with autism or blindness or leukemia… To decide to try again, and again and again and again, after the trauma of miscarrying… To decide to invest a piece of what made your soul and your biology in another person when you’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression or bipolar disorder or bulimia… I’m not sure I could make those decisions.
And so this is a poem for all those women who have stared in the face of the fear of what comes next, and had a child anyway. And this is a poem, too, for all those who have known that fear and quietly, determinedly said no, I will not.
The Fear of What Comes Next
You look at me and wonder –
what if it would turn out just like you?
You think about the nights you have lost,
rocking me in a cradle, colicky and cold
beyond any warmth the touch of your fingers would give.
You think about the moments upon moments of delusion,
when you hoped that this was just a phase,
and the little face looking back at you would smile some day,
and call you mama.
You wonder if the next one, like me, would never, not once,
be able to say that word.
You decided you will not give nature and chance
any more cruel opportunity.
You look at me and wonder –
what if it would turn out just like you?
You think about the nights you have lost,
staring bleary-eyed at that reflection in the mirror,
across the sink, over the pill bottles your shaky hand fingers.
You think about the moments upon moments of delusion,
when you hoped that this was just a phase,
and the nakedness looking back at you would smile some day,
and call you unbroken.
You wonder if the next one, like me, would never, not once,
be able to say that word.
You decided you will not give nature and chance
any more cruel opportunity.
And so they turn away from him, with that damn hopeful look in his eyes,
and say it’s late. Perhaps in the morning.
Tags: addiction, baby, chance, child, childfree, choices, decisions, disorder, father, fear, future, hard, kid, marriage, miscarriage, mother, motherhood, nature, parent, parenthood, poem, social commentary, woman, womanhood