Tag Archives: random

shitty pitcher poetry

10 Apr

Inspired by the fact that the lack of adequately stocked kitchen cupboards and a typo, a compilation poem of fairly shitty verse accidentally by my roommate and me. Enjoy. Laugh. Deride. Whatever.


A Pitcher Thought

We do not have a pitcher thought,
a tall, cool draught of hospitality
and ice cubes to offer on a front porch,
a long pour of shared success
with its sugary taste, satisfaction.

The pitcher is a self-sufficient plant,
a long tube and a cup held up by itself.
Very scientific.
Very exotic.
Very sharp.
It’ll hold the water for you,
pour you a little should it get too full.
Stand beneath its bower;
it will provide.
Tempt you to come closer, peer into the depths,
let it discover the taste of your soul.
A depth where there is no bottom,
only an end.
The pitcher is a carnivorous plant.

It’s a vessel for thoughts –
thoughts pourable,
and fluid;
magnetic poetry.


Strange Sleep

8 Apr

My brain is a very weird place. Like, very, very, very weird. Possibly also still a bit scrambled right now, seeing how I haven’t downed any coffee yet this morning. But hey. We’ll deal with it.

So, how weird is my brain? Well, when not deciding that I was going to be awake at weird hours and then sleep in a very nonsensical pattern last night, my brain was off in who-knows-what-land spinning incredibly odd dreams. Usually, I’m able to figure out what the stimulus was when I have particularly strange sleephaunts. An advertisement I saw on the Metro, something a friend said, a line from a book…

Yeah. Not so much this time.

I mean, my roommate and I did watch the lump of slap-happy confusion that is Zoolander last night, so maybe that was the impetus for my brain’s thinking that ooh! ooh! it could come up with absolute ridiculousness too!

What was last night’s brand of weirdness? Well, all within less than eight hours of shut-eye, I lived through a Star Trek-themed nightmare (neither Spock nor Captain Picard graced my dream with his presence, though) that was also slightly Monster’s Inc.-esque; I was Disney’s Pocahontas in an alternative history where I got to just hang out with John Smith and tell him he was boring; I was told via phone that the head of the tribe had died and so I (still Pocahontas) had to lead a group of other Native American aristocracy through a mine field where we were being attacked by flying frisbee-ish weapon technology; still as Pocahontas, I fought Malfoy from the Harry Potter books; and then in a completely different dream sequence, I was nanny to the Obama family’s young daughter (who in my dream was like 3 and a very unruly child); that dream somehow involved reality that was hybridized with video game graphics and clicking; and then finally that dream somehow connected back to the Pocahonatas one and the Chinese were going to try to attack through plants or something and I had $25 million that came from a fraud transaction and thus couldn’t gamble but it wasn’t my fault…

You all as lost as I am by now? Geez. There’s a reason I wake up exhausted…

Any of you lovely readers have a comparatively weird night? Hope you all managed a more restful pre-work Tuesday morning.

Brains are weeeeeird, man.

Ahem. I’m going to go drink some coffee now…

Seven Random Facts

19 Mar

Well, since it’s the last day of term and my thesis advisor wants me to do a few final revisions so she can send off my behemoth of an essay to a competition thingy that might get me $1200, clearly I should be here, on my blog, writing a post for no particular reason other than I thought of a random sentence that I could build off of and because I want to.

I’m so good at logic, guys. So good.

Aaaaanyhoo. It’s Wednesday. But this Wednesday feels oddly like a Monday morning and a Friday afternoon to me. So, for no reason in particular, I’m going to share seven things with you all that you probably don’t know about me and probably couldn’t know about me, unless you’re one of those people I’m friends with the real life times or whatever.

So. Here we go. Seven random things, just for procrastination FUN.

  1. I hate, and I do mean absolutely despise with the despairing wrath of a fatefully slighted demigod, messes of crumbs. *shudder*
  2. I can lick my elbow. Seriously. There are witnesses. It’s a fun party trick.
  3. I FUCKING LOVE CORSETS. Yes, they may be sent as tribute. I’m a size yeah-have-fun-figuring-that-out-because-hell-if-I-even-know-myself.
  4. I’m one of those people who shout “dog!” (or “puppy!”) every time they see one. Yeah. Every. time. I’ll shout it inside my head, if I can’t do it out loud for whatever reason. Because there’s a dog! DOG! Squirrel!
  5. If I can’t think of a title for something, I usually end up lolling around on the floor of my boyfriend’s room making incomprehensible noises until the world is just again and gives me an idea. Or until somebody stops in the hallway and expresses deep concern. One of those.
  6. I read fantasy/sci-fi nearly exclusively as a kid. Like, it got to the point that my mother tried to ban me from buying anymore books that had the word “wizard” in them. I think she might have been worried I was going to join the occult. Or something. I dunno. I just thought the plots were interesting. Like, some kid finds out they can speak dragon and joins up with a ragtag band of mythical creatures and must face certain death while completing lots of difficult tasks and thus prove their heroic nature while saving worlds upon worlds of people? YES PLEASE. Some twelve-year-old girl named Margaret gets her period and feels weird about it? Um. No thanks. I’ll just… sidle on over here to my unicorn stories… no no, no need to follow…
  7. I like sharks. A lot. Like, a lot. Sure, I’m more of a marine mammal kind of girl, but SHARKS ARE SO COOL GUYS SERIOUSLY THEY’RE SO COOL.

So. There ya go. Seven things I have procrastinated with by writing and that you probably just procrastinated by reading. Happy Wednesday-fake-Monday-fake-Friday!

Are you insane?

22 Jan

Oh look, the road sign for my life.

(originally found on Fitting It All In)

(originally found on Fitting It All In)