Tag Archives: grumpy cat

5 Ways to Be a Good Coworker on Monday

10 Feb

1. Arrive early (miraculously) and brew your coworkers a fresh, strong pot of coffee.

2. Nod oh-so-humbly when your supervisor delightedly discovers said coffee and asks if you made it.

3. Drink a cup of the properly strong coffee. Minimize human interaction until your inner caffeinated switch has toggled on.

4. Drink another cup of coffee, just to be sure. After all, you made enough for twice the number of people in your office.

5. Smile agreeably and clutch cup of coffee as your supervisor asks you to handle all of the shit. Smile more agreeably and relax grasp of coffee cup when your supervisor tells you that all of the shit is not urgent and to finish your coffee first.

(Bonus step 6: Even though you’re only halfway through your coffee, do all of the shit. Your supervisor’s way too nice and you suspect she might actually be a fairy godmother in disguise. Definitely worth impressing.)

grumpy cat coffee

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A Ditty for the “Oh God So Close to the Weekend…” Day

24 Jan

grumpy cat latte art

A Ditty for the Last of the Week Days

There was not enough coffee for my coffee cup.

There was not enough coffee to fill the cup up.

I overestimated what was left

in that most beautiful French press carafe

and now my caffeination is dangerously low

and my motivation center is synapsing quite slow

so you all got a half-crazed dump of a ditty

which I hope you’ve laughed at, even if it’s not witty.

Oh god, why isn’t it the weekend yet?

Note: Why the hell do I think of the weekend as “relief?” I usually have to get up several hours earlier…